Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wicked Awesome Hat Wednesday

This weeks Wicked Awesome Hat is from Major League Baseball in the late 70's an era where Reggie Jackson wore killer sweet brown sunglasses, Oscar Gamble's afro reigned supreme, most players were on cocaine, greenies, or completely liquored up, and they even experimented with a neon orange baseball. Despite all of this chicanery the Seattle Mariners came out with an awesome hat with a simple down turned trident that forms an M. I love this hat because it is simple, but at the same time screams I am a long shoremen looking for VENGEANCE! If you rock this hat with yellow hip waders on, with a flannel underneath, and throw in an eye patch for good measure people will not mess with you.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Casey Blake Fantasy Draft Position

The last time I looked Fantasy Draft boards, Casey Blake was really low. I can't seem to figure this out. I mean, how is it that Fantasy Draft can't grasp all the intangible incredibleness that Casey Blake has to offer? Casey can play any position on the field. He has the greatest beard in the history of baseball, and if it weren't for Abraham Lincoln it would be the best in ANY kind of history. Seriously, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but Rollie Fingers' facial hair stinks on ice compared to Casey Blake's.

I know these other third basemen in the Majors aren't bad, but let's be serious. Would you take that weak-chinned zilch Alex Rodriguez over Casey Blake? I wouldn't. David Wright? WRONG choice for me.

I wonder when fantasy owners are going to get it in their heads that they need someone like Casey Blake. I guess we will have to leave it to the real owners like Dolan in Cleveland.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Casey Blake Salary Comparison

Honestly it may be impossible for any franchise in any pro sport to offer Casey Blake a fair contract. Rumor has it he has turned down multi-million dollar deals to play Sweeper for Manchester United because he thinks soccer is a little "faggy". Casey Blake also has reportedly turned down an 8 fight $30 million dollar contract with the UFC because he feels Mixed Martial Arts are sort of "queer". What alot of folks don't realize is that Casey Blake makes money on the side during the off season by taking a large dose of bronzing pills and playing on the PGA tour under the pseudo name of Eldrick "Tiger" Woods.

Casey Blake has better things to do with his time than mounting some dude!

If you look at the best players at each of Casey Blake's positions (who really are just the 2nd best players at their positions) you can then add up their salaries and that MAY get you in the ballpark of the type of money he is worth.

3rd Base, Alex Rodriguez NYY, $22.7 Million for the 2007 season
1st Base, Jason Giambi, NYY, $23.4 Million for the 2007 season
Right Field, Manny Ramirez, $17 Million for the 2007 season
So if my calculations are correct, and you consider that Casey Blake is easily the best 3rd basemen, 1st Basemen, and Right Fielder in all of the Major Leagues Casey Blake's Estimated Worth = $63.1 Million Dollars per season.

Gloves are for Pussies!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Casey Blake's Salary is Inadequate

Hi, I am Craig and I will also be contributing to this site.

Casey Blake signed a deal to stay with the Indians for $6.1 million dollars, but let's put that in perspective.

That's $1.525 million per position that he plays with exceptional mastery. (3B, 1B, RF, LF) And imagine what that figure would look like if Eric Wedge would stop pussying out and let Blake pitch this season.

$6.1 million is a bargain for Blake because he is such a good teammate. If the Indians had a Casey Blake filling every position on the Indians' roster, the team chemistry would be so good it might make the world go to shit, much like what happened when they introduced sex into the culture in the movie Pleasantville.

$6.1 million is a bargain for Blake because of his amazing beard. He only lets it get full toward the end of the season because a full season of Casey's beard would lead to jealousy to the point that opposing pitchers would pitch around him just so he wouldn't be able to get a hit. Casey doesn't step to the plate to take a walk (obviously,) so he only breaks out the beard late in the season.

But seriously, $6.1 million is a bargain for Casey Blake and everyone knows it.

Witness Casey Blake.

Friday, March 7, 2008

What Would Casey Blake Do?

Many people seem to be unaware of this, but William Casey Blake is actually the son of our lord. It is said that he will show himself to be an omnipotent spirit that has taken the form of a human being and come to judge the living and the dead on the day of reckoning. Until that time he will continue to put up above average numbers for the Cleveland Indians of the American League Central Division as a 3rd basemen, a 1st basemen, and an outfielder.

Some people also fail to realize the following about Casey Blake:

There is no theory of evolution, there is only a list of creatures Casey Blake has allowed to live.

Casey Blake can make water run uphill.

On the European market, Casey Blake's urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.

Casey Blake's smile once brought a dolphin back to life.

Superman wears Casey Blake pajamas.